10. Did you have a good day or a bad day? Where do you think that defining line was?
Today was Christmas! Because I’m writing this right now at 12:08AM and I think 8 minutes into a day isn’t enough to judge whether it’s been good or not. Things were fantastic, even though I had to work. But then again, time and a half! And I now have a new dress that I am planning to get. :)
All this working better pay off! My next paycheck best be beastly as haaaail. But yes, good day today was.
Because I’ve been so MIA lately and the early hours of the morning are the only hours that I can think straight.
6. Talk about a recent experience that has effected you greatly and how.
I think the one thing that has really been on my mind lately would be this thing I have going with this person. I mean, we are friends, but we aren’t. We aren’t together, but we act like it. And it bothers me a little. It isn’t like I want a relationship specifically. It isn’t that at all. I enjoy my independence, my single life, my ability to just go without having to stop and think. But I can’t help but wonder how one person can come suddenly and change all of that. And slowly, the more I learn about him, the more things I attach to him. The more songs I can attach memories to. More smells. More tastes, experiences that trigger something about him. And that, that’s what bothers me.
Because now, I’ll be consistently reminded of him when one of these days, he could just wake up and change his mind about everything. He will go just as easily as he came. And the experience of meeting him would just be a painful reminder. And now? Now I’m just really cautious and careful. And that really isn’t the Empress way to live.
7. Think of the last person you hugged. What would you do if they vanished completely?
My little sister :) She’s amazing, man. I can’t begin to describe where I’d be without her. She’s the one who sits in the passenger’s seat while I rant and whine about things that bother me. She’s the one who laughs at my stupid jokes and the things I mutter under my breath about people that walk by. And really, we’re just really close as sisters. We get along perfectly.
8. Write about the first moment that comes to your head when you read the words “childhood memory”
Childhood memory = a gigantic mess of wonderfulness. I can’t hone in on just one because then I’d start to remember another fantastic memory and I wouldn’t be able to finish the first memory because then I’d already be onto another one. I’m not an ending type of person. I’d like to think that things just keep going in a constant flow, with no end.
But childhood for me? That consists of Saturday morning cartoons, definitely. I remember getting up suuper early to watch Cardcaptor Sakura, Static Shock, X-Men Evolution, Sailor Moon!, and idk if anyone remembers this one, but The Moomins? hahahaha! I legitly watched that show and enjoyed every minute of it. Damn, I love my Saturday morning cartoons.
9. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
In ten years? I see myself being…content with where I am. I see myself out doing something great and not being holed up in a house not feeling like I’m living my life out to the fullest. I have this gigantic fear that I’m not living every second of my life to the best of it’s ability. I really hope that isn’t true.
And even if I do end up getting holed up in a house, making dinner every night, or working some sort of 9 - 5 job, I want to at least love that I’m doing it. I want to at least feel like the dinner I’m making will be appreciated by my family or the job I’m at would make me feel accomplished about something. But ideally, that isn’t the type of life I want to live.
I want to tell stories! In ten years, I will be telling stories. Lots of stories. :)
I go into work Thursday night from 10pm to 7am. We’re moving into the new store, so we had to do a bunch of hard labor and restocking and stuff. It wasn’t as bad as I thought, but it’s important to realize that after about the 6th hour, it’s really hard not to start losing your marbles.
And lost my marbles I did. The amount of crazy I felt after work exceeded that of the volume of the sea. It was ridiculous. It was barbaric. And I had to go in AGAIN at 5! Until 3 in the morning.
Then the parking. Oh. my God. Parking in Waikiki is horrendous. If you don’t give an arm and a leg to park, you have to walk your ass from either end of the strip, be it the zoo or Ala Moana. Hell naw I ain’t walking the strip at 3 in the godforsaken morning.
So I end up parking at the structure which, btw, is 50 bucks max to get out alive and without a validated ticket. Come to find out, Forever is validating for free parking, which is pretty sweet. What wasn’t sweet, however, was the fact that the closing shift crew didn’t get their parking validated and how it was the four of us stuck at the tollbooth, trying to get them to let us out. In the end, one of the girls got them to send an invoice and try to get Forever to reimburse us. Idk how the hell that’s gonna happen, but I’m really scared about going into work right now.
Why didn’t we get our tickets validated? Long story. And it makes me anxious thinking about it.
But you know what made it all better? Jessie texting me, telling me that we should go get breakfast. And after work, he took me out to breakfast at McDonalds, told me I looked really tired, and gave me another one of his Zen quotes on how to Keep Calm and Carry On. And on top of that, he paid for it too. Even though I just wanted a large water.
And after having a crap day in general, I had the best Saturday morning I’ve had in weeks.
(because for some unknown reason, my post for Day 4 didn’t show up!)
4. What do you think it means to be in love?
Love is what powers everything. It’s the reason behind suffering, happiness, success, failure. Love is the underlying reason why people go through the things they go through. All is love.
To be in love? That’s something people worry about all the time. They question whether or not they love the person that they’re with, the career path they chose, the choices they make in general.
Personally, I think that when a person is in love, they are alive. To be in love means to live. What reason is there to live without being madly in love with something? My soon to be animation professor told me that animation made her so crazy, she drew and drew and drew for hours everyday, weeks on end, to perfect her portfolio and be accepted into CalArts. In the end, she had the strongest portfolio and the most job offers when she finished her term. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.
She found something that made her alive. And I think that’s what love is. I wish I knew more people who were in love with being alive instead of people constantly trying to find someone else to be in love with. Love isn’t exclusive to relationships. I think the true lovers are those who can fall in love with what the world has to offer, with passion and a spark for living.
5. Pick a song that projects the same mood as your day or week and explain.
Because Jina and myself went to see them this past Sunday, the night before finals. When the show was over, I felt like I could do anything. And I still feel this way. :)
I believe everything is powered by love. Suffering is powered by love. Happiness is powered by love. People do things they otherwise wouldn’t do because they are in love.
And it isn’t just like, being in love with a person and relationships and stuff. It could be a love for something. I spoke to my future animation professor at UH once, and she told me that animation is the one thing that makes her crazy. In order to get into the art college of her choice, she drew for hours and hours everyday. Sometimes she would just stay up all night drawing, perfecting her skill, honing her craft.
If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.
To be in love is to be alive. If you don’t have a love for anything, then what point is there in living?
I’m just tired of people thinking that love is exclusive to feelings between two people. Or people in general. Love is everything, it’s passion. I wish I knew more people who were in love with being alive than with finding people to be in love with.
3. Where have you been spending your time lately? Three/Five/Ten years ago would you have expected to be there?
I spend most of my days in town. Either I’m at Ala Moana waiting for traffic to clear up, at school slaving away like the hard working student that I am (ahaha), at work selling clothes, or off on some other adventure. I’m still mind blown at this new, almost independent life I’m living. I’m actually starting to feel homesick sometimes. It seems like I only get to come home to sleep.
I’ve always thought I’d go to college. I never thought I’d end up staying at home though. I figured, maybe now I’d be on the mainland or something being cold in my dorm room missing home even more.
“The best part of having a relationship is getting to call the person or lay down next to them and tell them all the crazy things that happened to you all day long. And in the end that’s what it’s about, kids. It’s not about the sex, it’s not about the money that they give you or whatever. It’s not about how good-looking they are, it’s about, can they listen to you talk for hours and hours and hours about stupid shit that doesn’t matter. And if they can, then you’re meant to be together forever. Even if that means you have to call them 100 times, that’s okay.”—Tegan Quin (via runawaytrain)
2. Who are you? In comparison to who you used to be. What made you change?
I’m Empress, I guess. Simply put. To make things a little more complicated, I’m Emperatriz Rivera, but I don’t like it when things get complicated. Or messy.
I used to be a mess. I was kind of a wreck. It’s always really nostalgic when I think about who I was before and how I’ve grown. It’s like, dude, where did all of that time go? When did my hair get so long? When did my nail polish chip so badly? When did I start not caring about who fucked me over and started sorting out my priorities?
And here, I thought I was just a big kid, hating the idea of growing up.
Oh, but against my will, I do grow up. And I start to better define between what I think is right and what I think is wrong. Nothing in specific made me change, really. I just so happened to.
I’m still kind of a wreck, a nervous one at that. I’m still reckless, I’m still whimsical, I’m still a wild thing. But who knows how long I’ll stay the way I am. I’m a different person everyday!
1. What happened today? If it was the last day of your life, how satisfied would you be with your final hours?
Today? I went to church today. I studied today. I went to Passion Pit with Jina today. That was pretty fantastic. Now I feel like I can face the rest of the week.
I suppose I would be pretty satisfied. I got to test out Jessie’s Face Time which was cool. He’s so very cute :) And plus, he called me tonight on his break. I love knowing that he thinks about me too. :)
Passion Pit was exactly what I needed. I was about to give up on it because I’m out of funds and BAMP was supposedly out of tickets. But we managed to score some tickets and all was well. I love the feeling you get in the middle of a sweaty crowd, the lights and the sounds, and the only thing you can see are snippets of the lead singer, people reaching for the sky, and the sweaty backs of people having just as much fun as you are. It’s euphoric, it’s amazing, and I’d love to have more nights like these. HELLA more nights like these.
Today was a good day. A fucking good day. That is all.
1. What happened today? If it was the last day of your life, how satisfied would you be with your final hours? 2. Who are you? In comparison to who you used to be. What made you change? 3. Where have you been spending your…
To sit in a car, with you. To share the passenger seat, with you. To listen to ambient, chilled the fuck out music, with you. Kissing, you. To unconsciously sync my breathing to yours, with you. To fog up the windows, with you. To watch the sleepy city, the lightning, the rain making lines down the windows, with you. To eat pancakes, with you. To record haphazard, guitary, songs, with you.
To do things, with you. And less things without you.
I keep replaying things over and over and it drives me insane.